This week has been a nauseating jolt back into reality! I actually had mild vertigo for a few days while I got my land legs back! I thought coming off my vacation I would be sailing smooth ahead without any more summer shopping distractions. Such is not the case. With the return of my daily routine came the daily urges to shop again. The first couple of days home (after all the unpacking, I sat down and caught up with some of the fashion blogger posts that I had missed). This led me to see, admire, desire and then purchase a few items the bloggers were modeling. After placing those orders I could feel the shopping urge rising even more and decided I also needed new summer workout clothes. I then continued looking at more cute sandals, cotton dresses and a really really super cute black romper (even though I already own a black romper). Suddenly my brain snapped out of this hypnotic shopping frenzy and I caught myself. I slammed the computer shut and walked away from it. This was ridiculous! I have plenty of great summer clothes to wear….there is always going to be “just one more thing” that’s cute, unique, soft or amazing. And as Dr. April Benson has told me
“You’ll never get enough of what you don’t really need”!
I’m happy to say that although my mind did wander back occasionally to those other beautiful items, I did not purchase them. Still, I had impulsively bought around $650 worth of clothing and accessories this past week and if I continue like this I will not be able to pay off what I owe on my credit card anytime soon or set aside any money for purchases I will want to make in the Fall. I decided not to just sweep these purchases into the back recesses of my brain (a tactic I often use to forget) but rather take a closer look at each item I bought and what I feel about them now that I’m on the other side of my shopping urge whirlwind.
1. Black Wedge Espadrille $200 - this was the original black wedge sandal that I wanted to buy a few weeks ago, but my size was sold out. After seeing it on the fashion blogger again (and still really liking it) I searched a little harder on the internet and found one in my size. I do really like the sandal, but could I have lasted another summer without a new black wedge sandal? Yes.
2. Two pairs of breezy, comfy, dreamlike pajamas. $150. Did I need more summer pajamas? No. I just have a weakness for super soft pj’s and these hit the mark.
Heather Grey Breezy t-shirt romper $100 - Again, this was a purchase that I decided I “had to have” after seeing it on a fashion blogger. I haven’t received this package yet, but if it fits me well then I will be glad to have it. Would I have missed not owning it had I never seen it on the blogger? Probably not.
3. Yoga Pants, running shorts, sports bras and tank tops $150 - I definitely could have gotten by without these, but If I’m being honest I think I am hoping the cute outfits will inspire me to workout more (I put on a few vacation pounds).
4. New running sneakers $100 - this may be the one item that I really needed to purchase as my current running sneakers are pretty old and I needed a new sneaker with better impact cushioning for running outdoors.
Looking back (good old 20/20 hindsight) I can see that I would not have been any worse without these items (besides the sneakers which I should have gotten months ago but running sneakers do not excite me). So if I can realize this all now, why don’t I recognize it BEFORE I click on COMPLETE PURCHASE? I think it is time to start using the phone app that my therapist has recently begun implementing (referred to as the Mentagram app). I am suppose to use this app whenever I get the urge to shop and (I believe) the app will ask me questions to help me make a mindful decision about whether or not to move forward with the purchase I desire. I downloaded the app but haven’t used it yet (since those early week purchases) as I have managed to avoid any more strong shopping urges.
Moving on with the week came the inevitable …the Nordstrom Anniversary Pre-Access sale! I immediately got into battle mode to resist shopping the sale! I no longer possess a Nordstrom credit card, so (thankfully) can not participate in the early access week that started on the 12th. But it is twisting my insides to not take a little peek at what is part of the sale. It’s like I want to torture myself and look to see what I am missing! The fashion bloggers have stormed the internet posting about the sale’s best selections. I refuse to read their posts. My email inbox is flooded with messages of “The top 10 things to purchase at the Nordstrom’s sale”. I delete the messages but they keep reappearing! I feel like it’s coming at me from all over! I went out to dinner with my husband on the 12th and he asked me how my day went. I replied “Actually today has been a really difficult day”. He responds, “Oh I’m sorry. It’s about your mom right? The anniversary of her death..11 years I believe.” He goes to reach for my hand but I wave it away saying” No, No…that was yesterday. Today…well today began the Nordstrom anniversary sale and I am not shopping it this year…so…well… its been a really rough day. I’m totally gonna have dessert.”
The best thing I did for myself this week was my scheduled session with my therapist. She is always so encouraging and positive and we spent most of the session discussing some strategies I can implement during the next few weeks to avoid any additional summer purchases and especially to avoid shopping the Nordstrom sale. I set a two week goal to “not shop” and my therapist had me create a “Motivational Interview” about this goal which pushes me to look deeper inside myself to understand more fully my priorities and potential obstacles. This can help make my goal a reality. Here is my motivational interview:
1. What is the change you want to make for next two weeks?
No clothing or accessory shopping.
2. On a scale of 0 tp 10, how important is it to you to make this change?
10 - because it is a step I need to take to get back in control to stop
3. Why are you at this number?
Because I feel it is necessary. The last few months have shown that I am giving in to
too many shopping urges and have gotten off course from mindful, planned
4. What would it take to go to a higher number?
N/A I’m already at the highest number.
5. How might you go about making this change?
Avoid reading all the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale Blogger Posts
6. What would be a good first step?
Unsubscribe (at least temporarily) from my favorite fashion bloggers so I don’t get the
emails reminding me there is a new interesting post or video to see.
7. What obstacles do you see and how might you deal with them?
I usually read these blogger posts or watch the you tube videos while I’m drinking
morning coffee, afternoon tea, or right before bedtime. I am going to feel a void at
these times and will find other things to read or watch instead (new summer book
perhaps?). I will have to deal with feeling that I am missing out on great items from
the Nordstrom sale, and will need to accept these feelings and work through them
reminding myself what happened to me last year during this sale.
8. On a scale of 0 to 10, how confident are you that you can make this change this week?
And why are you at that number?
I'm a 7 - I’m not higher than a 7 because I know there will be several obstacles in my
way such as needing to change my routine and dealing with emotions of missing out
on something. I’m afraid I could give into the shopping urges. But still, I know that
this is an important goal for me to achieve and I will feel great about myself if I can
reach it. I truly need to break the cycle.
Now that I’ve set my goal and have some ideas for obtaining it, I need to continue taking small steps…one day at a time. I will organize and provide more detail on all the strategies I will use to avoid shopping the Nordstrom sale and will post them on Tuesday. If you have any ideas that you are implementing to avoid the sale please share them by leaving a comment on this post, or sending me an email!