Welcome! I began this blog as a way to document and also share my feelings and experiences as a shopaholic who is trying to live a life that is fuller than my closet.
I have been an overshopper most of my life. I started young by accompanying my mother on all her shopping excursions. Shopping is what my mother and I did together…frequently. It is how we enjoyed spending a Saturday or a Sunday, and we usually spent the whole day doing it. We’d start early and go for breakfast, then shop until it was time to break for lunch. We’d then shop some more until late afternoon and then go home (or out) for dinner. This is how we bonded…this was how we communicated, After my mother passed away my shopping elevated to a different level. I won’t blame all my shopping issues on the death of my mother as I know that I over shopped well before that. But certainly it compounded things.
My shopping life was lonely, filled with insecurity and shame. I hid my over shopping from my husband…juggling packages and bills. I didn’t discuss my shopping with anyone. I was ashamed because I knew it was wrong to be spending so much, not telling my husband, and not being able to stop. I was insecure because I felt alone in my struggles…why couldn’t I control this aspect of my life? Why did my friends not have this problem? I felt no-one would understand me and would just judge me as being shallow, materialistic, or irresponsible.
My husband eventually realized I had a problem and encouraged me to get professional help. I began working with a therapist around ten years ago (shortly after my mother died). I’d made quite a bit of progress and decided to end my therapy. I coasted by for several years. Little by little the shopping increased. With each hurdle that life threw at me, I responded by shopping. Last year I found myself knee deep in the affects of over shopping once again…shame, insecurity, and loneliness. Again my husband encouraged me to return to therapy. And here I am. I’ve been with a therapist that specializes in Shopping addiction since September 2017. I am making progress but still have a ways to go. I consider myself a recovering shopaholic now because I am working each and every day to take charge of my issues, improve myself, and become more mindful and less compulsive. This does not mean that I am cured. I still have times when I shop too much. As with all things in life there are good days and bad days. I now find I am recognizing and stopping the bad days quicker than I use to. I am not giving up and I am learning to forgive myself for my imperfections.
My goal for this blog is to bring together a community of people who can relate to my journey and feel they are not alone, I want to use this internet space to share my good days and bad days, to help keep myself accountable, to support others with their over shopping struggles and also to receive support from others.